in which Natalie turns XXXI.

and Ana comes along to start this baby in STYLE:

that’s right. My name is Sanjiro Jones. come with me now as we start the fourteenth PORTMANIA!! i remember the FIRST PORTMANIA. i was 22 years old. AND YOU WERE ALL BABIES. and now i’m an old man. and you are STILL BABIES!! WHAT THE?!

FIND OUT WHAT PORTMANIA IS AFTER THE JUMP

WHAT IS IT?!! it’s a celebration of the BIRTH of NATALIE PORTMAN who will be 31 this Saturday. but it’s also a celebration of everything NATALIE PORTMAN. and so that includes water bottles and fake cigarettes and dogs and babies.

Last PORTMANIA Natalie gave birth to her son who she named ALF.

i might have that wrong.

but anyway this is day one. and for the next five days i will celebrate her birth and the baby and all that crap. and how i will do this is by reviewing her last five movies.

and you too can review each movie everyday! we can discuss it in the comments! and post pictures! it’ll be a natalie movie club or something. maybe we’ll even have TRIVIA. which i’ll probably have to make up. IT WILL BE A PORTMANIA TO IMMEDIATELY FORGET.

AND SO PORTMANA DAY ONE will come to an early end. BUT FEAR NOT. PORTMANIA CONTINUES ALL WEEK. i hope you all can participate and have a good time. and if you don’t i’ll jump in a river!! MY GOD. Tomorrow: THOR.

Have a nice cold PORTMANIA! on ME.