Remember my opinion piece a few months back about the film My Date With Drew and Natalie fans that have gone off the deep end? Well, if not, click the image below to catch up. I’ll wait.

Right, so after that update the emails from the featured “fan” changed. He clearly had read the update and was somewhat confused by the whole thing. I wish I had saved those emails but from what I can remember, he was angry at Natalie for deceiving him or something like that. Despite the fact that his emails go directly into my trash folder and are never even read, let alone replied to, HE had been deceived. Okay, fine. Whatever.

I thought, or maybe I just hoped, that his house of cards would come tumbling down. What was I thinking?

So today I was just messing around in gmail, looking through the new themes that they have, and I thought I’d check on the old trash folder to see how Nat’s number 1 fan was doing.

Well, it seems he forgave Natalie because…

1024 emails. In one month. From two people/personalities.

Again, most of these emails are long. Like 1500 words long.

If half of the emails in the trash are from this one guy, that’s still around 500 000 words a month. 500 000 words and every single one of them sucks.

Hell, Lord of the Rings is ONLY 300 000 words.

Dude, put down the keyboard. All that writing and NOBODY (not Natalie, not me, not even my virus scanner) is reading it. Why don’t you spend that time doing something constructive? Literally anything else would be time better spent.

Right now you’re basically hand writing a book and every time you finish a page you put it into a paper shredder next to the desk.

Volunteer at a charity. Pick up trash. Do sit ups! If you put the equivalent time into sit ups you’d have Tyler Durden abs. Maybe your abs will become world famous and Christiane Amanpour will interview you for CNN. Maybe Natalie will be watching the news that night and want to direct, write and star in a film about your abs!

Okay, thats definitely unlikely but plan A isn’t working, buddy. Time to switch it up a bit.